I’d like to interrupt your (ir)regularly scheduled programming to rant. If you don’t care to listen to me (well, technically, read my) rant, then you may close this tab/window and go back to your lives. Else, you have been forewarned.
I’ve been hearing about Fifty Shades of Grey for months. It might have been longer than that but suffice to say, I wasn’t interested. The plot didn’t seem interesting to me and it didn’t seem like a book that I’d enjoy. So I ignored it. Put it out of my mind. (Really difficult to do so now as there’s such a hype surrounding the books.) After all, no one’s forcing me to read it.
I suppose, it shouldn’t really matter to me. What difference does it make to me if it’s a bestselling book? None whatsoever. But when I stumbled upon this list on GoodReads entitled “Best Romance Novels of All Time” and saw that the top books are Fifty Shades of Grey (at #1) and Twilight (at #3), beating out classics such as Pride and Prejudice and Jane Eyre (and even The Notebook!), I was more than baffled. Seriously people? The best romance novels of all time as Fifty Shades of Grey and Twilight?
Before you go all hater on me, I will tell you now that I’m not here to bash on Fifty Shades and Twilight. Yes, I love Harry Potter and yes, I hate Twilight but my opinions about the books have nothing to do with each other. I even try my best not to compare them as I think they don’t fall under the same genre. I just fail to grasp how Fifty Shades and Twilight can outrank the classics. I know that the list is made by GoodReads users and that the ranking is based on how people vote, but still. Best romance novels of all time? Of all time? OF. ALL. TIME?
People shouldn’t vote willy-nilly on what they think is the best romance novel of all time, especially if they haven’t read a plethora of books. Also, I know that classic books are not as appreciated as well as the ones out now; but there are movies and even TV series about some of these books. The classics are considered as such for a reason. They transcend time and setting. They can happen in any era, in any place in the world. It makes them relatable, not only to one, but to many.
Now, I have nothing against the fact that Fifty Shades was born from a Twilight fanfiction (other than the fact that it was a Twilight fanfiction); I’ve been reading fanfiction since I was in high school and I admit that there are a lot of writers who would probably make good authors. Case in point: my favorite fanfiction author, essbeejay, the author of More Than Human, a Powerpuff Girls fanfiction. I also have nothing against the fact that it’s erotica; I don’t have to read something that doesn’t interest me. Also, I know that there are good erotica novels out there (see Anne Rice‘s Sleeping Beauty series which also tackles BDSM among other things). What I have a problem with is that people actually think that Fifty Shades (and Twilight) can be considered the best romance novel of all time.
Quite frankly, I have NO INTENTION of ever reading the Fifty Shades series. (If you think that I have no right to be talking about Fifty Shades because of that, then please feel free to stop reading. You don’t have to be here if you don’t want to.) But I’ve read the synopsis of the story and I don’t see how it can even be considered a great romance novel. It’s not the BDSM that makes it wrong for me; it’s the fact that I think what Christian and Anastacia have is an abusive relationship. You may say that Ana can change Christian in the end, but honestly people, how often does that happen in real life? I’m not saying that Christian doesn’t deserve love but no one should stay in a relationship where they are constantly physically and emotionally abused.
People think that Christian, who seems to be overly possessive apart from being abusive, is sexy? Well, I think he’s just an asshole. Much like how I think Edward, with his stalking and possessiveness, is a douche. #UnpopularOpinionRightHere.
Another thing, I’ve read quotes of this book from around the internet. I’ve got to say, Anastacia doesn’t seem believable to me. If I understand things correctly, she’s supposed to be a virgin. When I read the following quote, I was literally like, WTF?!
“Does this mean you’re going to make love to me tonight, Christian?” Holy shit. Did I just say that? His mouth drops open slightly, but he recovers quickly.
“No, Anastasia it doesn’t. Firstly, I don’t make love. I fuck… hard. Secondly, there’s a lot more paperwork to do, and thirdly, you don’t yet know what you’re in for. You could still run for the hills. Come, I want to show you my playroom.”
My mouth drops open. Fuck hard! Holy shit, that sounds so… hot.
Seriously Anastacia? That sounds hot? Are you sure you’re a virgin? In my opinion, that should’ve prompted you to run to your house, lock your doors, and get a restraining order against him. Just like how Bella should’ve gotten a restraining order against Edward when she found out he watched her sleep (creepy much?).
As I said, I have no plans on reading this book so my opinions might not mean anything to you. But I really needed to get that off my chest. You may now go back to your (ir)regularly scheduled programming.