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If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Just one. It can be anything – a physical thing you wish you had or didn’t have, a talent you’d like to have, anything. But you only get one.
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For book 10 of my #50bookpledge, I decided to read Michael Thomas Ford’s Suicide Notes. I read this book without any background of the book or of the author. Honestly, it was the title that intrigued me and made me decide to read it. Lesson learned? Read a little bit on the book or on the author before reading the book itself. Why? Well, because the book surprised me. I didn’t expect to read something like this. Not that I didn’t like the book. I guess it’s just that it’s different from what I’m used to reading.
Anyway! Here’s the synopsis of the book from GoodReads:
I’m not crazy. I don’t see what the big deal is about what happened. But apparently someone does think it’s a big deal because here I am. I bet it was my mother. She always overreacts.
Fifteen-year-old Jeff wakes up on New Year’s Day to find himself in the hospital. Make that the psychiatric ward. With the nutjobs. Clearly, this is all a huge mistake. Forget about the bandages on his wrists and the notes on his chart. Forget about his problems with his best friend, Allie, and her boyfriend, Burke. Jeff’s perfectly fine, perfectly normal, not like the other kids in the hospital with him. Now they’ve got problems. But a funny thing happens as his forty-five-day sentence drags on—the crazies start to seem less crazy.
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No one ever tells you that when your heart breaks, you can feel it. But you can. It feels like something has crumbled inside you and the pieces are falling into your stomach. It hurts more that any punch ever could. You stop breathing, and for a while you can’t remember how. When you finally do, it feels like your throat has closed up, like you’re trying to suck air through a straw.
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If it’s not obvious from the title of the book, this book deals with suicide. What I like about the book is that it tackles the issue of suicide as a serious undertone to the slightly humorous tone of the story. Not that it makes light of suicide. That’s not it at all. It just tackles it in such a way that I think it can convey a message to different people without the story being too dark. I think that if a book about suicide is way too serious, it might come across as… trying too hard? That’s just me though.
I also like that I think everyone will be able to relate to the characters in the story even though most of them are in the psychiatric ward. I suppose it’s because the characters are shown as being like us. It’s kind of like how Jeff just sees the others as just “crazies” but grows to see that they’re just like him. Or well, that he’s just like them. I actually really liked the main character. I don’t know. I just find that I can relate with how he thinks. I could understand his humor.
Probably the only thing I disliked are the graphic scenes in the book. You’d understand if you know the background of the author. I think that if I put the reason here, I’d be spoiling the story. The graphic scenes were a bit uncomfortable because I really totally didn’t expect that. Maybe if I had some warning that there’d be such a scene or at least a background of the author, I could prepare myself for such a twist.
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“The only thing you can do is listen to your feelings,” he said. “If you’re honest about what you feel, you’ll know what’s true about yourself.”
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Anyway, that’s it for this blog post. Sorry it took so long. I’ve been really busy with work. But I’m going to try my best to catch up with my blog posts. I’ll see if I can write the others and queue them to be published at later dates. I’ve two books to write about next (I’m a week behind on the 13th book; again) and I’m thinking of writing a blog post about our family’s recent trip to Tagaytay.
Well, I’mma log off now. Early day at work again tomorrow. Until next time dear readers! 🙂